Obviously…

Obviously… (the false consensus effect)

This is a pretty awful word. 

The false consensus effect is a cognitive bias – it’s our tendency to see our own choices and judgments as  common and appropriate to existing circumstances. And that means, almost all the time, that we think other people really ought to be thinking, perceiving, believing, valuing, and choosing the same way that we are … obviously. 

Because we’re therapists, our job is to accept and understand the different ways that other people are thinking, perceiving, believing, valuing, and choosing. (And we don’t do this perfectly, by any stretch!)

But for a lot of people, if you aren’t thinking what’s obvious to them, you’re obviously crazy, stupid, or awful. 🙂

So, where are the places we can eliminate this word, as a way of beginning to unchain ourselves from this bias? 

• We can stop using it in session, for a start. When is there a time that this word is beneficial in session? I’m guessing pretty much never. 
• We can teach this in session, to clients. It comes up a lot in couples’ work, especially. 
• We can work to take it out of our conversations in our non-work lives, too. 
• And we can watch for sneaky synonyms like “of course!”