Tag: ClassicTheory

Reversal Theory “On The Couch”

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Reversal Theory “On The Couch” 

This one’s not going to make much sense if you haven’t been following the Reversal Theory series, but if you want to check them out, here’s #1, #2, #3, and #4.

Here, as promised, are some RT-based techniques (and tweaks on classic techniques) that I’ve used in really cool and fun ways in therapy, to good effect. 

 

  • Intake Questions: Most clinical interview/intake questions are aimed at determining the client’s presenting issues and background information for diagnostic purposes. Sometimes, questions are included about clients’ expectations for therapy, their goals, and their perceived strengths.
    • RT transformation:
      • How much do you experience yourself as being serious and goal oriented? In which area of your life do you experience the best sense of “achievement”? In which area of your life do you experience that the least?
      • Playful/enjoyment; Being like others/fitting in; Being an individual/freedom; etc.
  • Cognitive Therapy: Thoughts, feelings and behavior are all connected, and that clients can overcoming difficulties and meet their goals by identifying and changing inaccurate, maladaptive thoughts. First steps are identifying maladaptive thoughts, evaluating them for accuracy/utility, and then  developing reasonable counter-thoughts, which clients tend to struggle with.
    • RT transformation:
      • The opposing nature of the RT states gives a quick, easy way to begin identifying potential, but reasonable, counterthoughts. For ex, clients often have anxiety provoking thoughts such as “this  storm is very dangerous” or “I can’t do well at this and that’s awful”. Clients tend to try to create counterthoughts in the same state, and these can be hard to swallow or not very accurate. For ex, “this storm isn’t all that dangerous” or “Maybe I am good enough at this after all”
      • Changing states creates fresh, conceivable options. For ex, “This storm is fascinating and awe-inspiring”  or “I don’t need to do well at everything to be valuable.”
  • Couples Work
    • Couples are taught to identify the RT states they are in during typical conflicts. They re-enact the conflicts in session, with an emphasis on “getting into the partner’s state” (each in turn) to improve empathy, reflection, and problem solving.
    • Techniques to help couples see from their partner’s perspective include overt state-disclosure, switching seats, mimicking partner’s posture/expression/tone, letting the partner “paint the picture,” guessing the partner’s state, and state-mapping
  • Group Work
    • This is a psychodrama-type technique I call “the gauntlet.” Two rows of 4 pairs of players (“auxiliary egos”) line up and each speak from the opposing states on the problem the protagonist has identified. The protagonist (the client who is doing the current work) “walks the gauntlet” and listens, makes comments, moves players (sit down, back up, etc.), turns the volume up and down, etc., in an improvisational way.
  • Guided Imagery
    • In the Eight Rooms technique (specific to Reversal Theory) an individual or group is instructed by a leader in a guided imagery session. The participants envision a hallway with eight rooms, four on each side. Each pair of rooms represents a pair of RT states. The participants are instructed to enter each room and fill it with colors, objects, scents, memories, and anything that helps to define each state for them. For example, a telic room may have paneling on the walls, a large clock, diplomas, and a work desk. A paratelic room may have brightly painted walls, a hammock, a tiki bar, loud music, and a bubble-machine. The participants are instructed to use as many senses as possible and not to limit themselves to ordinary furniture or objects. They are encouraged that, after the guided imagery, they will be able to use their memory of each room in order to induce the state desired at the time.

COmment below: What ways can you imagine using RT in session? 

 

 

 

Reversing

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Reversing

This is the third blog in the Reversal Theory series – if you haven’t, check out the first one here . And the second one here. 

 

As a reminder, Reversal Theory posits that we each have 4 different sets of states that we are in some combination of all the time – one each from Serious/Playful (also called Telic/Paratelic), Conforming/Rebellious, Mastery/Sympathy, and Self/Other (also called Autic/Alloic). So, at work you might usually be in the Serious-Conforming-Self-Mastery states, and if you are, you’re probably killing it! But, if you’re in the Playful-Rebellious-Self-Mastery states, you’re probably daydreaming about skiing and not getting much done. 

Despite the pervasiveness of the “continuum” in current psychological thinking, the ever-present bell curve, and the call for moderation in all things, the pairs of RT states do not operate this way. The bank of light switches above not chosen arbitrarily! At any given time, the light switch is positioned up or down. If pushed, it will flip to its opposite position. If not pushed hard enough, it will flip back to its original position. It does not rest in the center position. Likewise, a person is in one state of each pair or the other (this is called bistability). Bistability refers to a system which has two preferred ranges rather than one. 

A Necker cube (above) is a good example of reversing. It can be viewed sensibly in two equal but opposite ways, but there is no intermediate position and one cannot focus on the transition between the two states because it happens too quickly. Similarly, each pair of RT states functions as a “bistable” system; one is either in the serious state or the playful state, there is no stable position in between. 

So, how do we switch (or REVERSE!) our states? Three ways. 

 

Contingent reversals are the most common. A contingent reversal occurs based on an event, setting, or other environmental influence. For example, an event that is seen as threatening is likely to produce a reversal into the serious state (e.g., when one is joy-riding and then sees a police officer behind them). An event that is perceived as unfair will likely produce a reversal into the rebellious state (e.g., when a teenager is planning to go out and then is told she has been grounded). Note that it is the perception of the event which is of consequence, as events will be interpreted by different people or at different times in different ways. Another environmental factor that often produces reversals is the setting. A sports stadium may induce the playful state; a nursery may induce the sympathy state; your boss’ office may induce the serious state. Any situational event (e.g., seeing your partner smile, feeling nauseous, music playing in the background) can prompt a state reversal.

Often, the combination of many situational factors in balance determines the state one is in. For example, I may be drinking cocktails and watching football with friends (all paratelic-inducing/playful for me) and see a spider (typically a telic-inducing/serious event for me), but I might not be moved from the playful state due to the influence of the aforementioned factors. In essence, the perceived situational factors may be viewed as if on a scale, or a see-saw. Situational factors may “add up” enough to tip the internal see-saw to the opposite state, or the opposing factors may not be weighty enough, in which case I remain in the state I was in.

 

Another way that reversals are induced is through frustration. If you remember from the second blog, each state has certain kinds of satisfaction embedded within it. 

Telic -> Achievement

Paratelic -> Enjoyment

Conforming -> Fitting in

Rebellious -> Freedom

Mastery -> Power/control

Sympathy -> Care/nurturance

Self -> individualism

Other -> collectivism

 

When this satisfaction is not achieved over a period of time (which varies across times and individuals), the frustration will lead to a reversal. An example of this type of reversing is when, in the telic state, one does not feel they are making progress, cannot bring down their level of arousal, or comes to feel that what they are working toward is not worthwhile. A reversal to the paratelic state may take the form of abandoning the project in favor of something fun or distracting oneself with humor. Frustration-induced reversals may occur in the alloic sympathy state when one has heard quite enough of another’s complaining, in the negativistic state when one realizes that his/her efforts to change the system are not fruitful, or in the mastery state when one becomes exhausted with running on the treadmill.

 

The final factor in inducing reversals is known as satiation. This is hypothesized to be an internal mechanism in which a reversal is induced after a certain amount of time even when one is receiving the satisfactions of the state and in the absence of situational changes. Consider the student or retiree who, after a few hours, days, or weeks of leisure, longs for work. After a time, a loving caregiver who is content to nurture those in her household spontaneously craves some time for herself. In studies wherein participants can choose a telic-task or paratelic task for as much time as they like, will switch tasks without any seeming provocation. The process of reversing through satiation is often compared to the sleep-wake cycle, wherein the body simply recognizes that it has had enough of a certain natural and satisfying state, for reasons that are not entirely clear.

 

Those are the ways that reversals occur, and that’s plenty for this installment! Be on the lookout for #4, because it’s going to tie all of this into a very cool way of thinking about psychological wellness and therapy!

 

Eight Competing Values

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Eight Competing Values

This is the second installment of the Reversal Theory series. If you haven’t read the first one, check it out here. Enjoy!

OK, so we left off with the 4 pairs of states – serious/playful (also called telic/paratelic), conforming/rebellious, mastery/sympathy, and self/other (also called autic/alloic). 

Each state has a core motivational value, a range of emotions, and certain actions typically associated with it. The core value in the serious (or telic) state is achievement. When one is in the telic state and this value is being satisfied by reaching or making progress towards one’s goals, positive emotions emerge such as relief that a goal has been met or a sense of accomplishment. When this value is frustrated by a lack of progress, more negative feelings like anxiety or a sense of being overwhelmed are often present. Actions that are common to the telic state are planning, assessing risks, thinking strategically, and working diligently. Some common examples of being in the telic state might be working feverishly on a project to make a deadline, studying for an upcoming exam, or decorating the house to make it presentable for the imminent arrival of one’s in-laws.

The core value in the paratelic state is enjoyment. When one is in the paratelic state and taking pleasure in his/her current activity, excitement, fascination, and interest are common feelings. When pleasure in the current activity is thwarted, however, feelings of boredom or restlessness often emerge. Common contributions made in the paratelic state are enthusiasm, openness to new experiences, spontaneity, and creativity. Examples of being in the paratelic state include walking leisurely enjoying a sunset, working on an interesting puzzle in one’s free time, or luxuriating in the evening meal. It is important to note that it is not the activity that determines one’s state, however. One can be walking “leisurely” at sunset in order to attain the goal of pleasing their partner, or be frustrated at the leisurely pace because he/she is focused on getting home to work on a project. Likewise, in the previous example, decorating the house may be so enjoyable that the arrival of one’s in-laws may slip into the back of one’s mind.

The core motivational value of the conformist state is fitting in. This can also be expressed as the desire to do the right thing at the right time, or to do what is typically done. In the conformist state, it is a pleasant experience when one conforms and an unpleasant experience when one is not conforming. Pleasant emotions that may be experienced in the conformist state are a sense of belonging and comfort that one is doing right; unpleasant emotions may include embarrassment from not conforming or guilt from not meeting expectations. Further, actions consistent with the conforming state might be following procedures, adhering to ethics, and acting predictably. Examples of being in the conformist state may be taking pleasure in a game precisely because the rules are being followed, feeling satisfied that you “belong” in a group of coworkers, or enjoying the ceremony that marks a traditional wedding, graduation, or spiritual ritual.

In contrast, the core value of the negativistic or rebellious state is freedom. In the rebellious state, pleasure is derived by acting in way that one perceives is in opposition to external pressures or rules. Pleasant emotions experienced in the rebellious state can include independence and personal freedom, whereas unpleasant emotions may include frustration or anger at our restrictions or perceived unfairness. Actions consistent with the negativistic state may be challenging authority, behaving critically, or showing a desire for change. The rebellious state may be manifested as defiance or (despite its name) mischievousness or simply unconventionality. Enthusiastically protesting against current legislation, purposefully acting out in a residential group home, or even “thinking outside the box” at a business meeting could be examples of being in the negativistic state. Note that the same behavior may be performed in different states, based on different motivations; smoking with school friends could be enjoyed because it is not allowed, or it could be enjoyed because it allows one to fit in with the crowd.

The primary values in the mastery state are control and power. In a social interaction, this might mean desiring to have the upper hand; in a competition, this might mean being focused on winning. One could be in the mastery state with a pet, when training it; one could be in the mastery state with a piece of machinery or sports equipment, when learning to operate it. Positive emotions felt in the mastery state include pride and accomplishment and negative emotions typically center on humiliation or disappointment. In the mastery state, positive qualities that may be displayed are confidence, determination, and leadership.

The primary values in the sympathy state are caring and affection. Most often, the sympathy state has to do with people or living things. One could be in the sympathy state with a colleague when listening to their troubles or with a partner while sharing a casual Saturday afternoon picnic. One could certainly be sympathetic with a pet, lavishing it with attention. In the sympathy state, positive feelings typically include loving and feeling loved; bad feelings are those that go along with feeling unloved, such as rejection. In the sympathy state, positive attributes that one may display center around cooperation, emotional support, sensitivity, and relationship.

In the autic state, one’s primary concern is for oneself, including taking responsibility for one’s actions as well as taking care to get one’s needs and desires met. Working out at the gym to see to one’s health (self-mastery) or asking a loved one to run an errand on one’s behalf (self-sympathy) are examples of being in the autic state.  The core motivational value in the autic state is individualism, or doing the best one can for oneself. Satisfaction at doing something well or appreciation of self may be good feelings experienced in the autic state; negative feelings such as resentment or loneliness may result if one remains in the autic state too long and thus becomes isolated from others. Common actions in the autic state include attention seeking, performing to the best of one’s ability, setting and meeting personal goals, and keeping a balance between work and personal life.

In the alloic state, one’s concern is for meeting the needs or desires of others. When one tidies up the house because their partner prefers it that way, this is an example of the alloic state (other-sympathy). So is helping or coaching someone else for their growth or improvement (other-mastery). The “other” in the alloic state may be an actual other, such as a friend or child. However, the “other” may also be a group or team to which one belongs, in which case it is referred to as the extended self. The other may also be someone or a group that one identifies with, such as a hero in a movie or a favorite sports team; in this case, the other is known as the surrogate self. The basic motive in the alloic state is collectivism, caring for others or for a group more than the self as an individual. Good feelings that come from helping others or seeing others succeed are a part of the alloic state, as are the bad feelings that come from letting others down or seeing others hurting. Frequently, being a good teammate, helping, encouraging, mentoring, and giving are behaviors the alloic state might produce.

 

 

OK, good! In the next “episode,” we’ll discuss how we shift between these different states! 

 

Phrenology

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Phrenology

If you aren’t familiar with phrenology, it’s a frankly brilliant pseudoscience from the early 1800’s that we completely dismiss now. But, today, I want to talk about how it’s brilliant.

The basic premise was that different parts of the brain handled different tasks/ personality structures and therefore you could determine a person’s faculties or traits by examining the shape of their skull. Of course, we know that’s not true now – growth in a certain area of the brain doesn’t make it bigger, but rather more densely populated with neural connections and/or better myelinated. But WOW… why do we summarily dismiss the outrageous assertion that the brain is an organ with many parts that serve different functions?! That’s basically the birth of neuroscience right there!

The reason I feel so passionately about phrenology (and why I like to keep a phrenology bust in my office), is because is science is always valuable, never perfect, and continually growing. And that’s a message I really, really want all of my clients (and all of us therapists) to know! Not just about science, but in the larger sense of the message “not to let the perfect be the enemy of the good.”

Comment! What’s something in psychology that we don’t really give a lot of credibility to anymore that has still helped you?

 

 

 

 

Great Books Volume 3: Divergent Classics

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Great Books Volume 3: Divergent Classics

Here’s a list of books that are well worth reading, written by fathers/mothers in the field, but that are a bit more specific (not quite so much emphasis on “how therapy works as a whole”). These tend to be a bit newer, and a bit shorter, if that has been something that’s kept you from reading along so far! You’ll see some of our favorite authors return on this list, as well…

 

  • Man’s Search for Meaning (Viktor Frankl)
    • Short and incredibly powerful. More personally beneficial than clinically useful, which is why Doctor and the Soul made the first list
  • Love is Never Enough (Aaron Beck)
    • Although this is about working with couples, it’s a good cognitive therapy text without having to read Cognitive Therapy for Depression (although that’s a good one, too). Prisoners of Hate is also awesome!
  • Sex Without Guilt (Albert Ellis)
    • Sure, there are plenty of resources to learn REBT, but why read them when you can learn it while listening to Ellis pontificate about sex five decades ago?! (There’s also an updated version which is shockingly similar to the first edition!)
  • Let Your Body Interpret Your Dreams (Eugene Gendlin)
    • Hands down, the best dream interpretation book I’ve ever read, and it also really exemplifies the down-to-the-ground humanistic, phenomenologically-oriented theory of therapy
  • Emotional Awareness (Dalai Lama and Paul Ekman)
    • A brilliant, easy-to-read dialogue that covers the basics of universal emotional experience and gives insight into the real Buddhist tradition that the West has marred
  • Behind the One Way Mirror (Cloe Madanes)
    • If you were interested in Jay Haley’s Strategies of Psychotherapy, you’ll like this case-study rich exploration of strategic family therapy
  • The Family Crucible (Carl Whitaker and Augustus Napier)
    • This would be a treatise on systems-oriented family therapy if it were a huge, boring tome. Instead it’s a lively narrative that follows one family’s journey. You may end up with more questions than answers, but that’s ok!
  • Waking The Tiger (Peter Levine)
    • The book that effectively birthed Somatic Experiencing and other body-focused trauma therapies. This is readable on a client level, but still has a good science background. May change the way you see the whole mind-body connection, not just with trauma.
  • Flow (Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi)
    • Really useful for those clients who needs more of a coaching or consultation style, or who have any kind of performance concern (professional, athletic, even relational). Very clear concept, well elaborated, easy to incorporate into your own life and into therapy
  • Gifts Differing (Isabel Briggs-Myers)
    • Great secondary text on Jung’s personality theory and great primary text on MBTI. So much more depth than what you learned in your assessment class, and it’ll give you useful constructs to work with, even if you don’t care for the actual instrument.
  • The Schopenhauer Cure (Irvin Yalom)
    • Existential classic in a very readable narrative form. Also, lots of good stuff about group therapy, all demonstrated rather than explained.
  • On Encounter Groups (Carl Rogers)
    • THE book on process groups. It’s brief and, if you’re a highlighter, prepare for more yellow than white – it’s so rich!

 

I really don’t mean to fill your bookshelves and/or drain your wallet. It’s just that they’re all SO GOOD. Comment below if you’ve read one of these and you want to recommend it for people to begin first! 

 

 

 

 

Undiscovered Self Jung

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Undiscovered Self (Carl Jung)

I love reading. And I’m such a psychology nerd that some of my favorite things to read are the classic texts written by the fathers and mothers of psychology and psychotherapy. So, in case you might want to read some of these – I’ll give you some glorious snippets as I come across them to entice you. (And for those who really don’t want to read these kinds of things, maybe still some good quotes to spice up your consultation meetings and help you feel psychologically erudite.) ?

Carl Jung’s The Undiscovered Self: The Dilemma of the Individual in Modern Society (1957)

This is a tiny, punchy little book! Coming in at just 112 pages, it’s pretty easy to read and fits nicely in a purse or laptop bag! Here’s one of my favorite lessons:

Individual reality can’t be expressed by statistical averages; every therapy client is a completely unique creature and needs to be treated as such.

The more a theory lays claim to universal validity, the less capable it is of doing justice to the individual facts. Any theory based on experience ins necessarily statistical; that is to say, it formulates an ideal average which abolishes all exceptions at either end of the scale and replaces them with an abstract mean. This mean is quite valid, though it need not necessarily occur in reality. … The exceptions at either extreme, though equally factual, do not appear in the final result at all, since they cancel each other out. (p. 7) … While [the average is] reflecting an indisputable aspect of reality, it can falsify the actual truth in a most misleading way. … Not to put too fine a point on it, one could say that the real picture consists of nothing but exceptions to the rule, and that, in consequence, absolute reality has predominantly the character of irregularity. … There is and can be no self-knowledge based on theoretical assumptions, for the object of self-knowledge is an individual – a relative exception and an irregular phenomenon. (p. 8) If I want to understand an individual human being, I must lay aside all scientific knowledge of the average man and discard all theories in order to adopt a completely new and unprejudiced attitude. …If the psychologist wants not only to classify his patient scientifically but also to understand him as a human being, he is threatened with a conflict of duties between the two diametrically opposed and mutually exclusive attitudes of knowledge, on the one hand, and understanding, on the other. This conflict cannot be solved by an either-or but only by a kind of two-way thinking: doing one thing while not losing sight of the other. (pp. 9-10)

That’s all I’ll give you here, but you should read it for these other gems:

  • How communism and capitalism both devalue the individual while purporting to do the opposite
  • How religion really exists through experience only, not dogma
  • The problem with ignoring your shadow and the good that can come from it
  • How art prophesies cultural shifts

 

Yes! All of that in this teensy, tiny book. Enjoy!

Comment below if you’ve read this book, or any Jung, and give your favorite quotes!

 

 

 

Great Books Volume 2: Indispensable “Psychology” Books

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Book List Volume 2: “Psychology” Books

Ok, I promised a follow-up post about great books by primary authors. There are too many to just do one additional post, so this one will be focused on “psychology” proper. These aren’t the most useful books, maybe, for psychotherapy, but they’re outrageously important in terms of fundamental psychological knowledge. Enjoy!

 

  • Beyond the Pleasure Principle (Sigmund Freud)
  • Psychopathology of Everyday Life (Sigmund Freud)
  • Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious (Carl Jung)
  • Principles of Psychology Volumes I and II (William James)
  • Games People Play (Eric Berne)
  • Theory of Human Motivation (Abraham Maslow)
  • Beyond Freedom and Dignity (BF Skinner)
  • The Making and Breaking of Attachments (John Bowlby)
  • The Neurotic Personality of Our Time (Karen Horney)
  • Mind: A Journey to the Heart of Being Human (Dan Siegel)
  • Change: The Principles of Problem Formation (Paul Watzlawick)
  • The Lucifer Effect (Philip Zimbardo)

I have a bunch more books I’d like to list, because I think they’ll be amazing. But I’ll practice what I preach: NEVER recommend a book you haven’t read. More to come!

Comment if there’s a book you think I missed for this post! Or if you have ever recommended a book to a client that you haven’t read and it came back to bite you! Haha!

 

 

 

 

Focusing – Gendlin

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Focusing

Recently, we talked about the 7+/-2 principle of working memory and how the brain is a pinball machine. We went on to talk about how therapy work like journaling and PCT can be effective, and how to maximize the 7 +/-2 principle in our work with clients. Which is great! And now, I want to see about taking things to a whole new dimension…

You can only THINK ABOUT  7+/-2 things at a time. Even when we’re maximizing that, clients can only experience a few of the multiple parts (e.g., thoughts, feelings, sensations) of any given situation in sequence. But you can SENSE the whole thing at once, if you allow yourself to do that and don’t rush to get ahead of yourself with words. This is called the felt sense. The felt sense (Gendlin, 1978) is different from feelings, emotions, thoughts, or regular body sensations. It is the fuzzy, unclear “gestalt” of awareness.

The felt edge is the next step that follows completely naturally from the complete felt sense and leads in the direction of more life in the body. Every natural experience has a natural next step, and only that next step will REALLY satisfy.

Hunger → eating; Arousal → orgasm; Grief → tears; Curiosity → exploration

What options do you have when you are thirsty?

Exercise? Reading a book? Vodka? Pineapple? Water? Gatorade? (Infinite options!) But which one is the one to which your thirst is leading? The BODY KNOWS.

The felt edge is like standing in patient readiness, without tension, observing all of the possible next steps and getting the sense of what feels like more life in the body.

Focusing  is the process by which we can experience the felt sense of any given problem or situation – the whole of it, at once –  and thus, approach the felt edge where we are most likely to have an awareness of the most right next movement.

The Six Steps of Focusing

  • Clearing a Space – Asking yourself: What is the main thing for me right now? Sense it, but don’t go inside
  • Felt Sense – Experience (“Feel”) the many parts of whatever it is, all together. Get a sense of what all of the problem feels like.
  • Handle – Give a name, phrase, or image to the quality of the whole felt sense.
  • Resonating – Gently go back and forth between the felt sense and the handle, patiently ensuring that you have just the right fit.
  • Asking – “What makes the problem so _____?” “What is ___ in this?” Be sure you are sensing freshly (not remembering!) the felt sense. If you get a quick answer, without feeling it in the body, let that go and stay with it.
  • Receiving – Be open, in a friendly way, to any shift in the body. This will be accompanied by some change in the whole of the problem. Accept that change gently.

 

If you want to learn more about this, you’ve absolutely got to read Focusing (Gendlin, 1978). It’ll change your life, your therapy, and your clients’ lives… guaranteed. And if you think you can’t learn something so experiential from a book…try it anyway. Focusing is all about tuning in to your own experience anyway; Gendlin’s voice through his writing may be all you need for direction.

 

Tons of other free resources and readings of Gendlin’s and The Focusing Institute here. 

Gendlin, E.T. (1978). Focusing (first edition). Everest House.

 

 

Comment below if you use Focusing in session, or if this is your first exposure!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Great Books Volume 1: Indispensable Psychotherapy Classics

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Great Books Volume 1: Indispensable Psychotherapy Classics

By far and away, one of the most common questions I get from students and supervisees is “what should I read to learn more about xyz?” Great question! And I love answering it, as well as teaching how to identify a good source (maybe that’s a good idea for a later post!).

I love to read books in the field, and I especially love to read the founding fathers and mothers of psychology and psychotherapy. I think this might come from having my own learning influences that emphasized primary source material, and also definitely from teaching Theories of Counseling and Psychotherapy. Textbooks never do justice to the real authors.

Definitely, in some later posts, I’ll talk some about specific books in more detail. Here, I’d like to give you a list of what I think are the best primary source books for psychotherapists. I’m defining “best” here as a combination of most foundational and most useful (so you’ll notice that Freud doesn’t make the list, even though he’s FREUD. And other favorites like William James’ Principles of Psychology. Sigh. Another day.) I’m also going to (painfully) limit myself to one per author.

 

  • On Becoming a Person (Carl Rogers)
  • What Life Could Mean to You (Alfred Adler)
  • The Undiscovered Self: The Individual in Modern Society (Carl Jung)
  • Your Many Faces (Virginia Satir)
  • The Gestalt Approach and Eye Witness to Therapy (Fritz Perls)
  • Focusing (Eugene Gendlin)
  • I’m OK, You’re OK (Thomas Harris)
  • Warning: Psychiatry Could Be Hazardous to Your Mental Health (William Glasser)
  • Strategies of Psychotherapy (Jay Haley)
  • The Doctor and The Soul (Viktor Frankl)
  • Life Without Fear (Joseph Wolpe)

 

Ok, I can already tell that future lists are imminent! There are SO many books that I’m having trouble not listing! But start with these. You’ll be glad you did!

Comment below and let me know the book you think I missed!

 

Seven +/- Two

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The Power of 7 +/- 2

(How Working Memory Works in Therapy)

How many things can you remember to get from the grocery store without writing it down? Well, never mind, I guess I already gave you the answer. Obviously, it’s 7+/-2. Or it is for most people.

And you probably learned about this in your intro psych class in college. But how is it meaningful in therapy, you ask?

It’s meaningful because your brain, and your clients’ brains, are pinball machines. You can really only hold about seven pieces of information in your brain at a time, and relatively small pieces of information at that. And they just “bounce around in there,” ad infinitum, unless we do something intentionally to get them out. And here are three ways that we can capitalize on this quirk of our brains in therapy.

 

#1: Journaling

I know that you already know that journaling is awesome. I know you could extol its benefits to almost any client, I know that you’ve seen it work its magic, maybe in your own life, and (because I’m a therapist, too) I also know that you sometimes recommend it for clients as homework just because you don’t know what other homework to give them. (We all do it!) And that’s OK, because journaling is pretty safe and, let’s face it, it sort of is magic. What you might not realize is how the 7+/-2 function of the working memory plays into the effectiveness of journaling, and how you might be able to use it even more intentionally and beneficially than you have been. One of the ways that we can get those bouncing pinballs inside our brains to get out is to write them down. I’m sure you’ve given this assignment to your anxious clients who have trouble getting to sleep at night because their pinballs are all the worries that they have about the next day. And you encourage them to put a pen and paper next to their bed, so that they can write down any anxious thoughts that they have or anything they need to remember for tomorrow, temporarily letting it go so they can sleep. Great!

Occasionally, that has unintended consequences. And you have a client who, instead of staying up for two hours thinking about the same five worries over and over, stays up for five hours writing down all the worries that came up after they wrote down the first five. And while they don’t like that very much, that’s part of the magic. When those five, seven, or nine thoughts keep bouncing around, they don’t leave any space for anything new. They don’t leave any space for other worries or concerns, and then those get kind of trapped, unexpressed, maybe even living inside and wreaking havoc on the client’s body. (More on this kind of thing in another post.) So they are not aware of, and cannot make you as their therapist aware of, all of their legitimate concerns. Journaling helps them to flesh all of those out. As if that weren’t enough, those seven pinballs also keep other new thoughts from coming in. Hopeful thoughts, new solutions, brilliant ideas, etc. So, one of the ways that we can take advantage of the 7+/-2 principal in therapy is to use journaling in a targeted way, whenever we want to give clients freedom to explore both the true breadth and depth of their concerns and also open them up to new possibilities.

 

#2: Healthy Conflict

Ok, how often have you had a couple in therapy and they’re discussing their latest argument, and the one of them who remembers everything perfectly (because there’s usually one) pulls out some exact quote from the other person that was really hurtful, and then the other person says, “ok, yes, but I was mad, I didn’t mean it!” And naturally this never satisfies the hurt partner, and they don’t believe them.

(Let’s be very honest, how often have you said that? And you know you didn’t really mean it, and your partner doesn’t buy it. And how often has your partner said that, and you didn’t buy it? Hmmmm?)

Let’s put this in the context of 7+/-2. When we’re upset about something, we ruminate. It’s one of the easiest times to see 7+/-2 in action. One thing that our boss/mother/partner/kid/etc. says – we just repeat it over and over along with a refrain of “how dare they,” and a chorus of “I didn’t deserve that.” That’s it. Over and over. And that’s bad enough by itself, right?

But then, we actually bring it up with the other person. And as we are “having our say,” we start with all of those things (pinballs) that have been bouncing around. After we say them out loud… That’s right, they’ve made a way for brand-spanking-new thoughts. Brand new thoughts with brand new words that we haven’t taken the time to decide whether or not we want to say. And because all of those pinballs have just made space, in the heat of that moment, all of these new, unfiltered, unevaluated, and probably regrettable words just fall out. That’s what’s happening a lot of the time when we say “I was mad; I didn’t mean it.” And you know what? It’s pretty much true.

We really don’t want to base our jobs on an unedited report that we threw together at 2am without really thinking about it. That’s not our “real work.” Our real work is composed, thoughtful, edited for appropriateness, thorough, concise, and clear. That’s what we want our bosses to judge us on. Our best. And that’s what we want to give to our partners, and what we want them to judge us on as well. So, you can teach this to couples along with other techniques for conflict management (more on this in another post), and help them to keep their pinballs from falling out and rolling all over the floor.

 

#3: Person Centered Therapy

PCT is just magic right? Right. But seriously, past the humanistic underpinnings, have you ever wondered-in a technical sense-how person centered therapy works like magic? I think I have an idea. Just an idea of mine, mind you. But it’s based on the 7+/-2 principle. And it goes like this:

What are the main techniques of PCT? Silence, reflection, paraphrasing, summarizing. (Remember, in honest-to-goodness Rogerian PCT, even questions aren’t very present.) So, what do these techniques to do? First, silence allows clients space to get the first seven pinballs out of their heads. Then, reflection allows them to know that their pinballs are safe, not going anywhere, and you create a holding space inside the session for those pinballs to live for a while, almost like little sticky notes. Lo and behold, the client suddenly has more access to their own genuine thoughts and feelings that have been locked up behind those first 7 thoughts. Great! So they can put even more pinballs out into the session with you – emotions, ideas, etc. – that they may not have had access to before. Like journaling, that might be therapeutic enough on its own.

But PCT goes further. When several of those pinballs/sticky notes get out into the space between you, it’s time to paraphrase. When you paraphrase, it’s like taking a couple of sticky notes, condensing them, and putting them together on one index card. Imagine, just by paraphrasing, you might take 30 of your client’s sticky notes and turn them into 15 index cards. Then what? Summarizing. When we summarize, and draw together common themes, it’s sort of like taking those index cards, condensing them even more, and maybe stapling them together. So, by the end of one session, you’ve let a client have access to much more of their internal experience, maybe even some of their inner wisdom, you held all of it safely in the session with you, and you’ve condensed it and given it back to them in packages small enough and few enough that they can make a new 7 +/-2 and they can re-organize their internal experience. That gives them more “brain space” for knowing themselves well, entertaining new ideas, in essence… space to grow.

 

Now, go do magic with the power of 7+/-2. Comment with how it works out for you!