Great Books Volume 2: Indispensable “Psychology” Books

Book List Volume 2: “Psychology” Books

Ok, I promised a follow-up post about great books by primary authors. There are too many to just do one additional post, so this one will be focused on “psychology” proper. These aren’t the most useful books, maybe, for psychotherapy, but they’re outrageously important in terms of fundamental psychological knowledge. Enjoy!


  • Beyond the Pleasure Principle (Sigmund Freud)
  • Psychopathology of Everyday Life (Sigmund Freud)
  • Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious (Carl Jung)
  • Principles of Psychology Volumes I and II (William James)
  • Games People Play (Eric Berne)
  • Theory of Human Motivation (Abraham Maslow)
  • Beyond Freedom and Dignity (BF Skinner)
  • The Making and Breaking of Attachments (John Bowlby)
  • The Neurotic Personality of Our Time (Karen Horney)
  • Mind: A Journey to the Heart of Being Human (Dan Siegel)
  • Change: The Principles of Problem Formation (Paul Watzlawick)
  • The Lucifer Effect (Philip Zimbardo)

I have a bunch more books I’d like to list, because I think they’ll be amazing. But I’ll practice what I preach: NEVER recommend a book you haven’t read. More to come!

Comment if there’s a book you think I missed for this post! Or if you have ever recommended a book to a client that you haven’t read and it came back to bite you! Haha!





Diagnosing Well (Rant!)

Diagnosing Well (rant!)

Diagnostics are tricky, right? We want to honor the human person, so we sort of hate the idea of diagnosing. And who wants to put clients in “a box”? Although, we need to get paid, right? And that means billable codes. What are we to do?


Rethink diagnosing. It honors the client when we can describe their conditions and situations in clear, useful, holistic ways. (Warning! Here comes the ranty part…) But that’s not an excuse to do it haphazardly, to give everyone adjustment disorder, or to get in the habit of using the same five diagnoses over and over. To really do it well, you might need to change the way you think and behave. You might start by trying some of these tips:

  • One of the lovely things about diagnostics is that it gives us clear definitions in order to do treatment-related research. So when you do diagnose, make it really count by accessing that research literature and translating it into effective treatment strategies, client handouts, and more.
  • Remember to use all of your specifiers! It’s no wonder we feel like we’re dumping clients into diagnostic categories if all we put is just “MDD” or “GAD.” (Remember that a few conditions, like “with Panic Attacks,” can be part of any diagnosis!)
  • Recall that “unspecified” diagnoses are really for ERs and quick intakes. Never leave one on a client’s chart. Go back and get the phenomenological data you need to update it.
  • When you give an “other-specified” diagnosis, remember to actually specify it in a brief narrative form!
  • Use your “Other Conditions” codes to paint as clear a picture as possible with your diagnosis, even when they aren’t billable (you may remember them as “v-codes”). Like these:
    • F50.4 Overeating associated with other psychological disturbances
    • F62.0 Enduring personality changes after catastrophic experience
    • F55.6 Abuse of herbal or folk remedies
  • There are more billable codes than you realize. You don’t need to use adjustment disorder for everything. Here are some fun examples:
    • F42.1 Obsessive-compulsive disorder, primarily compulsive acts
    • Z62.898 Birth of a sibling affecting child
    • Z70.8 Sex counseling
    • Oh, and if you hated that Asperger’s left the DSM-5, it’s available in the ICD-10 – F84.5. So is Dysthymia, and the Schizophrenia subtypes!


Let’s honor clients by doing excellent, thorough work. Maybe this will also be helpful to you? It’s a free PDF version of the Mental and Behavioral Health section of the ICD-10.


Leave a comment! How do YOU do diagnostics like a rock star?





Teletherapy Rant

Teletherapy Tips (but mostly rant)

(This is a bit long, and you may want to just skip to the end, where there is a client resource that you can check out!)

I’m not particularly new to teletherapy – I’ve done it for a couple of years, though only at need (for example, with a client who traveled out-of-town but in-state to care for her dying father for several weeks). Like it has for many of us, teletherapy has taken a larger role in my practice in 2020, and – as a result – I’ve solidified my relative distaste for it. It’s taken me some weeks to really get a handle on what bothers me about it, and I think I have.


  • It’s just not clinically appropriate for some clients.
    • For some clients, coming into the office is literally part of what is therapeutic – for depressed clients who have difficulty getting out of bed, for social anxiety clients who “feel safe” behind the screen, for clients with autism spectrum disorder whose work involves building social skills, for clients with dependent personality disorder/features
    • For some clients (those above, and those with almost any other kind of anxiety), staying sequestered at home exacerbates their symptoms. Consider how many people will have added a “with panic attacks” or “with agoraphobia” specifier to their diagnoses by the end of this time!
    • Perhaps it goes without saying, but managing potentially dangerous situations (e.g., self or other harm) via telehealth is something very few people have been adequately trained in. I have a feeling we don’t really know if we’ve been adequately trained until we’re in the moment across the screen with our client who has the scissors at their elbow.
  • Privacy/confidentiality is our responsibility, and teletherapy makes that much more difficult.
    • Privacy and confidentiality are much easier to manage in our office environments. For therapists who have moved their practice to their homes, unless they live alone, this poses significant challenges (e.g., family members hearing session, Bluetooth devices nearby allowing access to sessions). Also, when records are kept outside of the office, or moved between home and office (e.g., if you use paper records), that adds risk.
    • Probably the larger issue is that we don’t have any control over the environment that the client chooses. We can ask them to provide an optimal environment, but it becomes an ethical dilemma at some point: do we provide (suboptimal!) services when a client is, say, constantly interrupted by their kids, walking through the grocery store, or under the scrutiny of an abusive partner? Where do we draw the line and say it’s not an appropriate environment for therapy? Typically, we honor those boundaries even when clients don’t – when they sit down next to us in a church pew and start to share or even try to continue their session in the waiting room, we actively prevent that and protect their confidentiality even when they don’t.
  • We miss out on the benefit of the “sacred space.”
    • Therapy is special. When people choose to come to therapy, we are supposed to offer them something that is different from their normal lives. That’s part of what helps it to bring newness into their lives. There’s a reason that sacred spaces have existed throughout time – why you build an altar in the desert, why you go to your closet to pray, why you climb a mountain to get clarity, why indigenous healers set up holy spaces. If you think that therapy is just telling people your wise thoughts or finding interesting solutions to problems, maybe it doesn’t matter. But if you practice therapy with the intention to heal, the sacredness of the therapeutic space matters.
    • In a more scientific way, we could say that our internal states are tied to the physical spaces in which they are activated. That is the reason that one of the primary sleep hygiene rules is to only use your bed for sleep – because classical conditioning is a real thing. So, our offices – where clients choose to be disclosing and access emotions, where they feel safe, where they can bring themselves to do hard work – those offices allow clients, over time, to feel safe, disclose, access emotions, and do uncomfortable work more readily. When they do therapy from their homes, offices, cars… we lose the benefit of the therapy space.
  • For many therapists, it seems like it is more difficult for them to keep their professional boundaries.
    • The teletherapy experience seems to be convincing many therapists that they should be in text-contact with their clients much more often than they typically would be. If this is not part of a therapeutic system that a therapist has been trained in (like a Linehan-style DBT program), there are a lot of risks with extending the session beyond the session time. Beyond the risks for clients in believing that you’re always available, and then sending a crisis text while you’re unavailable, how do you take a shower, sleep restfully, or drive safely without attending constantly to the concern that a client in need might be texting you right now?
    • I’ve also been reading about and hearing about the “increased intimacy” of online therapy that some therapists are suggesting is a good thing. There are many therapists who are sharing things with clients that they never would share in face-to-face counseling, like the state of their homes and allowing clients to see them interact with their family members. Likewise, they are experiencing aspects of their clients’ lives that they wouldn’t otherwise experience. My question about this is whether those clients would choose to share those things, if they were mindful about it. Would therapists? We intentionally don’t join a client’s personal book club or speak to them when they’re at the gym. When we begin to do in-home therapy services, we get training in how to interact in a client’s personal space. While I’m sure everyone has good intentions, there’s no data about whether this is helpful or harmful to clients, and it seems to me to blur the lines that we know are helpful to clients.
    • For both of these issues, how clear are therapists being? Are we honoring our professional, ethical obligations to “clarify professional roles and obligations” and “avoid unwise or unclear commitments” (Ethical Principles of Psychologists and Code of Conduct, General Principles)? To what degree are we even maintaining a professional relationship? And make no mistake, the professional relationship is part of the healing process – we have known for a long time and continue to accumulate data that the therapeutic relationship is the primary factor in positive change (not the physician-patient relationship and not “good friendships” – the therapeutic relationship).
  • It’s harder to create a growth-promoting climate because it’s harder to use the basic Rogerian skills.
    • Silence is one of the foundational skills of therapy, and the mediation of the screen and internet connection really diminishes the effectiveness of silence… especially when the client has to ask, “Are you frozen?!” The head nods that we can use to show we’re listening while silent can be problematic; for example, they often seem like agreement to clients, so we don’t want to overuse them. The “mmm-hmming” is often either so quiet that it gets lost or so loud that it breaks the client’s rhythm because they think you want to speak.
    • Eye contact, which is also one of the most basic attending skills, is frankly impossible. If you are watching the client for facial and other non verbal cues, then they can’t see your eyes. If you look at the camera, so that it appears that you’re giving them eye contact, you can’t see them anymore. If you move your camera so far back that you can “fake it,” you’re no longer close enough to see their facial changes well. Not to mention that you need to be monitoring your tiny picture at least some of the time to at least make sure that you’re on screen, clear, and well lit.
    • Pacing is more substantially more difficult online. For one, it’s virtually impossible to see and hear clients’ breathing, which is one of the ways that you know how and when to speak in session, even if you aren’t aware that you’re attending to that. Also, the conversational lag time, even when both parties have a good connection, is unavoidable – that’s why we have to say, “Oh, sorry, you go ahead” so often.
    • Attending to nonverbals is also largely impossible. There are the issues listed above, with clarity of facial expressions and breath, but it’s unusual to be able to see more of the client’s body that you get to see in face-to-face work – wringing hands, tapping feet, holding a pillow across their torso, etc.
    • And it’s less congruent. According to Dr. Marlene Maheu, the leading teletherapy trainer in the country, from the Telebehavioral Health Institute, we need to be about 10% more expressive in order to come across the medium with the same level of engagement. That means that we are either acting (in which case our internal experience will be incongruent) or being perceived as less present (in which case the client’s experience is incongruent with our intention).
  • For me, personally, it feels less rich – the same energy isn’t there.
    • Partly, this is because I am more easily distracted and it takes more effort for me to stay fully engaged through the screen (esp in hour seven!). That may not be an issue for everyone.
    • Partly, it’s because my primary theoretical orientation is existential-experiential with a person-centered foundation, so I utilize the here-and-now and the relational process more often than other therapists might.
    • I really like how psychotherapist Erika Shershun said it, in an interview for The Bold Italic: teletherapy lacks the “refreshing and energizing resonance between two people.”

I know this is going to be a controversial thing to say, but in short, I think that teletherapy is the Standard American Diet of psychotherapy: it’s more convenient, it’s cheaper for the people who provide it, and it will keep you going, but it’s less nourishing and is probably causing problems down the line that we don’t even know about yet.

Of course, it’s also certainly better than nothing. For scenarios that are more like coaching, or brief solution-focused work, I think it doesn’t make much difference. If we do it well, I think it can be helpful. And I think that, in some cases, we can use it to our advantage (e.g., using the out-of-office environment to create different exposure scenarios for clients with OCD).

So, I have tried to channel these feelings into something much more productive than just a rant, and created this tip sheet  for clients doing teletherapy our scouring the internet and my professional community and finding nothing like it. Please check it out! Hopefully, you’ll find it useful and not-ranty, and be inspired to use it or make your own!


Thank you so much to my lovely colleague who helped me clarify these thoughts, soften my rantiness, and upgrade the usefulness of the client tip sheet.





Metaphors in Therapy

It might just be me, but metaphors are one of the most useful and most enjoyable things I do in therapy. How it develops as session moves forward…it’s so very alive! And it’s the perfect blend of co-creation, client investment, being in the here-and-now, and creating that shared vocabulary and those “inside jokes” that really solidify the relationship.

Metaphor open doors and windows. They grow into fruit-bearing stories. They are infused with energy, like water, like light, like electricity.

Here are some of my favorite, most typically-useful metaphors.

  • Therapy/life as a quest
  • Self as a house
  • Family as an ecosystem
  • Psychotherapy as physical therapy/working out
  • Relationships as a garden

Here’s the thing about metaphors. You need to be open to them – both hearing them in session and seeing them in the world. Have you ever seen the show “House?” Dr. House is an amazing diagnostician in part because he is outrageously knowledgeable and competent. But if you’ve watched the show, you know that a lot of what seems like magic happens because his brain – the sort of white noise that’s always activated – is always open. He’s got the client du jour floating in the background, always, so that when other (seemingly random) things happen, it clicks.

Once I was driving, and saw someone transporting a leather sofa in the back of their truck. I thought, “They’re lucky it isn’t raining!” But then… it became a metaphor for a client that week, who was tempting fate with her vulnerability. Another time, it was writing a stock “thank you note” that prompted a metaphor about a client’s timid, prepared communication and how it was often appreciated in the moment but then forgotten and not incorporated into her relationships.

Yes, be careful. Metaphors only go so far. Also, I know I’m providing you with some “stock” metaphors here, but the other risk is that your metaphor either doesn’t fit the client’s experience or (worse!) they make your metaphor fit their experience, and then it’s not authentic. So, please, invite them to co-create with you!

(And yes, I will do more posts that flesh out each of those metaphors, and more!)

Comment: What are your favorite therapy metaphors?





Preposterous Quote – Be Patient

CAUTION! Preposterous Quote Ahead!

Actually violates the physical law of entropy. Left alone, with just your patience, all things disintegrate, they don’t integrate. Even for things to maintain their integrity or the status quo, they have to be intentionally maintained. True for the universe writ large, but certainly true for your internal systems and relationships. If you want things to come together, patience is a nice foundation for the work you need to be doing with self compassion in yourself and your environment!

Comment with your improved version!





Focusing – Gendlin


Recently, we talked about the 7+/-2 principle of working memory and how the brain is a pinball machine. We went on to talk about how therapy work like journaling and PCT can be effective, and how to maximize the 7 +/-2 principle in our work with clients. Which is great! And now, I want to see about taking things to a whole new dimension…

You can only THINK ABOUT  7+/-2 things at a time. Even when we’re maximizing that, clients can only experience a few of the multiple parts (e.g., thoughts, feelings, sensations) of any given situation in sequence. But you can SENSE the whole thing at once, if you allow yourself to do that and don’t rush to get ahead of yourself with words. This is called the felt sense. The felt sense (Gendlin, 1978) is different from feelings, emotions, thoughts, or regular body sensations. It is the fuzzy, unclear “gestalt” of awareness.

The felt edge is the next step that follows completely naturally from the complete felt sense and leads in the direction of more life in the body. Every natural experience has a natural next step, and only that next step will REALLY satisfy.

Hunger → eating; Arousal → orgasm; Grief → tears; Curiosity → exploration

What options do you have when you are thirsty?

Exercise? Reading a book? Vodka? Pineapple? Water? Gatorade? (Infinite options!) But which one is the one to which your thirst is leading? The BODY KNOWS.

The felt edge is like standing in patient readiness, without tension, observing all of the possible next steps and getting the sense of what feels like more life in the body.

Focusing  is the process by which we can experience the felt sense of any given problem or situation – the whole of it, at once –  and thus, approach the felt edge where we are most likely to have an awareness of the most right next movement.

The Six Steps of Focusing

  • Clearing a Space – Asking yourself: What is the main thing for me right now? Sense it, but don’t go inside
  • Felt Sense – Experience (“Feel”) the many parts of whatever it is, all together. Get a sense of what all of the problem feels like.
  • Handle – Give a name, phrase, or image to the quality of the whole felt sense.
  • Resonating – Gently go back and forth between the felt sense and the handle, patiently ensuring that you have just the right fit.
  • Asking – “What makes the problem so _____?” “What is ___ in this?” Be sure you are sensing freshly (not remembering!) the felt sense. If you get a quick answer, without feeling it in the body, let that go and stay with it.
  • Receiving – Be open, in a friendly way, to any shift in the body. This will be accompanied by some change in the whole of the problem. Accept that change gently.


If you want to learn more about this, you’ve absolutely got to read Focusing (Gendlin, 1978). It’ll change your life, your therapy, and your clients’ lives… guaranteed. And if you think you can’t learn something so experiential from a book…try it anyway. Focusing is all about tuning in to your own experience anyway; Gendlin’s voice through his writing may be all you need for direction.


Tons of other free resources and readings of Gendlin’s and The Focusing Institute here

Gendlin, E.T. (1978). Focusing (first edition). Everest House.



Comment below if you use Focusing in session, or if this is your first exposure!







Emotions for engineers

Emotions (for Engineers)

I know this is not typical, but I’d like to share with you an intensely useful metaphor that I absolutely hate. Hating it is especially difficult for me, because I made it up. It’s just not….me. But it’s wildly effective with some clients – especially the analytical, emotionally restricted, very controlled clients.

Let’s start with this: there are 6 basic human emotions. (I know, some researchers say 5, 7, or 9. Some are currently working on disputes. Of course, there are cultural, familial, and other influences. Maybe that’s a topic for another day, along with the relative absence of really good emotion lists or wheels. Today, we speak of Paul Ekman, the father of universal emotion research.)


And while I most want to write about the varieties of emotional experiencing, primary vs. secondary emotions, emotion constellations, and more, instead I’m going to tell you how I sometimes talk to people about emotions who aren’t as “into” emotions as I am. This may be because they’re truly alexithymic, because they were raised in a traditional male gender role or any of a number of cultural systems that value emotional restriction, or because they’re Vulcan. Here goes:

Think of emotions as an internal indicator about the allocation of resources in your environment. Resources could be anything – money, time, relationships, etc.

FEAR – Fear is an emotion that tells us a resource is in danger. The importance of the resource and the level of perceived danger (in intensity, closeness, and ability to deal with it) will determine whether we feel nervous (like when the resource of social status might be threatened by potentially having poor public speaking performance next week) or terrified (the resource of life/health is threatened by an oncoming 18-wheeler).

SADNESS – Sadness is the feeling we have when a resource has been lost. Again, the level of sadness we feel is determined by a few moderators like the importance of the resource (like a close family member), the irretrievability/irreplaceability (like death as opposed to a job loss), and the “realness” (e.g., we feel disappointment when we perceive a loss of something we didn’t actually have yet).

ANGER – We experience anger when resources are perceived to have been distributed unfairly. When we don’t get something that we believe that we deserve, we feel anger in response. It’s something that we can feel this as a response to someone else being unfairly resourced – an abused child being denied safety and love, the environment being destroyed through improper resource management, our kid not winning the science fair even though their project was definitely better than those other kids’.

(note: people often experience anger or something like anger as a “secondary” or “substitute” emotion when they have learned that other emotions are too painful or not acceptable to express, typically fear and/or sadness. More on this in another post, sometime.)

DISGUST – Disgust occurs when a resource is potentially threatened with corrosion or infection. This can be a physiological kind of disgust, like when we are exposed to an obviously ill person or a rotted food. It can also be when we believe our character/environment might be threatened with moral decay or infection by the presence of contemptible others.

JOY – Joy happens when we believe our resources (again, this includes all kinds of resources – money, love, status, purpose, etc.) are sufficient and safe. If we have just enough and aren’t worried, we feel contentment. We may even feel a burst of happiness or delight when we receive an unexpected resource – a winning lotto ticket or spontaneous hug. (You might prefer to use the word “happiness” for this emotion in general because you believe “joy” is tied up with purpose and meaning. Great; I support that!)

INTEREST – Interest, like all of the emotions, comes in different intensities. For example, curiosity, wonder, and awe are emotions we feel when we recognize that a resource is salient. It often combines with other emotions to tell us how salient a resource is in what way. It acts as a modifier (e.g., telling us whether something is a bit scary, pretty scary, or very scary).


It’s a work in progress, so comments below, especially if you have questions or ideas!





More like dancers than statues

More like Dancers than Statues 

(Introduction to Reversal Theory)

We are more like dancers than statues.

I’d like to spend a few minutes introducing you to a cool little theory that I bet you’re not familiar with. It’s called Reversal Theory and (if you’ll pardon the pun), it’s might just turn things upside down for you.

Let’s start with this – think about the theories of personality you’re most familiar with. Probably Big 5 comes to mind? Maybe Myers-Briggs? Bonus points if Allport or Eysenck popped into your mind first. Here’s the thing – most theories of personality are trait theories. They’re based on how we are, and how we stay the same. They tell us who we are, across time and situations.

Now answer this question: Do you feel like an INFP all day, every day? Aren’t there times when you’re more or less agreeable, more or less open to new experience? (And yes, while all of those theories account for slow, incremental change across the lifespan, that’s not what I mean.) I mean sometimes don’t you feel disagreeable in the morning, and more agreeable after coffee? Don’t you sometimes feel conscientious when you start working on a project and then markedly not conscientious as you slog through it for 5 hours? Don’t you sometimes feel extroverted at the beginning of a party, but just feel yourself retreating to introversion over the course of the evening? This is the aim of Reversal Theory – to give us a structure for thinking about how we are different across time and situations, rather than the same. (Don’t fret! It doesn’t do anything to diminish trait theory – all of that still counts!) 

To begin, I need you to imagine a bank of 4 light switches.

Now, I don’t want blow your mind too much right now, but in Reversal Theory, we’re not going to be thinking about traits on a continuum. We’re going to be thinking about 4 pairs of states, and each of them flips off or on like a lightswitch. (No, not like a dimmer-switch. I know the continuum is our best friend in therapy, but hang in here with me. Just wait until the end.)

Here they are:

Ok, let’s visit these one by one.


You don’t get to be serious and playful at the same time. Wen you’re in the serious state, you’re goal-oriented and future-focused. You’re focused on achieving something important and maybe on the consequences of not getting things done. When you’re driving to work for an 8am meeting with your boss to give an update on the progress of your latest project, chances are you’re in the serious state. But when it’s sunny, breezy, and 75 degrees on a Saturday afternoon, and you don’t have to rush anywhere (and also that favorite song of yours from your junior year in high school comes on the radio) – you’re probably in the playful state. In the playful state, you’re in the moment and focused mostly on enjoyment.


When you’re in the conforming state, you’re focused on the value of fitting in, doing what’s right, meeting expectations. Lots of people are in the conforming state at school, work, or church. Teens are often in the conforming state, even when it doesn’t seem like it to parents (e.g., smoking to “be cool” or drinking to “fit in,” even though parents might call that rebellion!). When you’re in the rebellious state, your primary motivation is freedom, or individuality. When you spend Saturday doing whatever you want to do, or when you protest an injustice on your own behalf, or when you get a purple streak in your hair, even though your mother, husband, and coworkers might be scandalized, you’re probably in the rebellious state.


In the mastery state, you’re primarily concerned with things like doing better, having control, and making progress. In the sympathy state, you’re mostly concerned with taking it easy, being gentle, love and nurturing. Chance are, if you’re at the gym, you either are in the mastery state or you’d certainly like to be. If you sometimes go to the gym for the “princess package” (a gentle swim, then the whirlpool, then the sauna, and end it with a smoothie), you’re probably in the sympathy state.  


The self and other states are probably what you think they are – being focused on you or being focused on someone else. These combine really naturally with the mastery and sympathy states. You might be exercising control and power over self (like when you’re at the gym), or you might be exercising control and power over someone else. For example, you might be bargaining down a salesperson for the best price and you definitely want to “come out on top” or you might really investing in beating your last high score in DoodleJump. That’s self-mastery. But what if you’re tutoring a high school student and really encouraging and empowering them to have control and mastery over themselves and their schoolwork? Any time you function as a teacher, coach, or mentor – you’re probably in the other mastery state, focused on power, control, and mastery…but for someone else. And sympathy works the same way. When you want to eat ice cream to soothe your jangled nerves, take yourself out on a date, choose to watch Netflix instead of push yourself to that deadline, you’re in the self-sympathy states. When you want to give that kind of care, love, and lenience to someone else – helping a friend in need, letting your partner sleep in – you’re in the other-sympathy states. 

Now, for each of these states, you are in one or the other of each pair at any given time. You might be more aware of one or two of them, but you’re in all four. And if you combine the states you’re in with the situation you’re in or what you’re doing, you get different and interesting results. So, you may be writing progress notes and be in the SERIOUS-conforming-self-mastery states. If you are, you’re probably killing it, getting work done, feeling great about your progress. But, if you’re in the playful-REBELLIOUS-self-sympathy state trying to work on your progress notes, I bet you’re not making any progress at all. I bet you’re sitting there, miserable, eking out a sentence at a time, wishing you were done, desperate for a massage or a margarita. See, we’re not always in the optimal states for whatever we’re doing at the moment.

OK, that’s as far as I’d like to bring you for right now. I want to give you a teaser…while you wait for the next post on this, think about what states your clients are in while they’re in session with you. Think about what states they might be in when they argue with their partners, when they’re disciplining their kids, sitting in their school desks, trying to resist peer pressure, or captivated by worried thoughts.

(If you are already in love, and don’t want to wait for the next post, buy this book.)

Comment below if you have thoughts or questions!