Four Existential Givens


Four Existential Givens (and the implied responses)


So, Yalom (e.g., 1980) talks about the four “existential givens” or “ultimate concerns”:

  • Death (i.e., death anxiety)
  • Freedom
  • Isolation
  • Meaninglessness 

And I’m surprised how rarely (or if ever?) I find someone cogently and overtly expressing that the implied responses to each of these ultimate concerns are the bedrock principles of existential therapy (and maybe ALL therapy):

  • Approaching (rather than avoiding) anxiety (thus reducing anxiety and also the foundation for living fully)
  • Taking responsibility (and recognizing limits of both responsibility and freedom)
  • Building and maintaining connections (maybe Existential Therapy proper doesn’t do a great job of this one, but Frankl certainly talks about it at least) 
  • Defining (and then living in) valued directions 

See what I mean, though? Why is this not just a chart in all theories textbooks? Why do we always get the idea that the main things to do is SUFFER with these ultimate concerns rather than use them as guideposts?!

 

Comment below: From your own theoretical orientation, how do these play out? Is anything missing? 

 

Yalom, I. D. (1980). Existential psychotherapy. New York: Basic Books

 

 

 

CLEAR thinking


C.L.E.A.R. Thinking


 

Oh dear. If you know me, you know one of my pet peeves is “made to fit” acronyms. Ugh. I am familiar with the research about how that makes things easier to remember, yes. And I’m the first one to criticize, let’s say, Yalom for making the (would-be) “acronym” for the curative factors of group therapy AIIIIUECCCS. Not helpful. But, maybe it was just too many years of church sermons forced onto artificial acronym scaffolds that gave me a bad taste about it. I especially don’t like when the concept has to be twisted or something has to be grafted on to make the acronym work. 

That being said, this one sort of made itself in a therapy session one day, so I’ll share it. Blerg. 

CALM – brains that are all geared up don’t think very clearly. Or rather, they might think clearly, but they think in very limited ways – limited to RUN, FIGHT, APPEASE, etc. Useful for predators, not so much for the rest of life. This goes along with other bodily things that can get in the way of clear thinking, like hunger, exhaustion, and pain. 

LOOSE – really good thinking is flexible. It’s structured enough that it’s coherent, but it’s not so structured that it loses its openness. Like any high-functioning system, clear thinking is semi-permeable. 

EFFECTIVE – clear thinking prioritizes effectiveness. That means both recognizing potentially multiple goals and prioritizing them. Effectiveness over winning, unless winning is the only goal. Effectiveness over comfort, unless present comfort is the only goal. Etc. 

ACCURATE – it’s got to happen in a reality-based way. Distortion is unavoidable, but the more we can be aware of our biases, the typical tricks of cognitive distortions, our own fantasies, etc., the clearer our thinking will be. 

RELATIONAL – there’s no escaping that we exist in relationships, all the time, even when we’re alone. Keeping thinking relational means we’re better at taking others’ perspectives, more likely to consider real systems that are at play, and keeps our feet out of our mouths (pretty often).

 

Comment below: Ok, lay it on me. Should I give up the acronym? Is it forced? Could it be useful? Can you improve on it?! 

 

Blocks provide you with everything you need to build a larger page. They contain a variety of content elements, such as images, buttons, headings, and more. These elements are arranged in rows and columns, which provide a useful structure, as well as a sense of balance within the overall composition. You can modify this structure using our intuitive drag and drop interface, which allows you to rearrange content to your heart’s content.

 

 

 

 

Great Books Volume 3: Divergent Classics


Great Books Volume 3: Divergent Classics


Here’s a list of books that are well worth reading, written by fathers/mothers in the field, but that are a bit more specific (not quite so much emphasis on “how therapy works as a whole”). These tend to be a bit newer, and a bit shorter, if that has been something that’s kept you from reading along so far! You’ll see some of our favorite authors return on this list, as well…

 

  • Man’s Search for Meaning (Viktor Frankl)
    • Short and incredibly powerful. More personally beneficial than clinically useful, which is why Doctor and the Soul made the first list
  • Love is Never Enough (Aaron Beck)
    • Although this is about working with couples, it’s a good cognitive therapy text without having to read Cognitive Therapy for Depression (although that’s a good one, too). Prisoners of Hate is also awesome!
  • Sex Without Guilt (Albert Ellis)
    • Sure, there are plenty of resources to learn REBT, but why read them when you can learn it while listening to Ellis pontificate about sex five decades ago?! (There’s also an updated version which is shockingly similar to the first edition!)
  • Let Your Body Interpret Your Dreams (Eugene Gendlin)
    • Hands down, the best dream interpretation book I’ve ever read, and it also really exemplifies the down-to-the-ground humanistic, phenomenologically-oriented theory of therapy
  • Emotional Awareness (Dalai Lama and Paul Ekman)
    • A brilliant, easy-to-read dialogue that covers the basics of universal emotional experience and gives insight into the real Buddhist tradition that the West has marred
  • Behind the One Way Mirror (Cloe Madanes)
    • If you were interested in Jay Haley’s Strategies of Psychotherapy, you’ll like this case-study rich exploration of strategic family therapy
  • The Family Crucible (Carl Whitaker and Augustus Napier)
    • This would be a treatise on systems-oriented family therapy if it were a huge, boring tome. Instead it’s a lively narrative that follows one family’s journey. You may end up with more questions than answers, but that’s ok!
  • Waking The Tiger (Peter Levine)
    • The book that effectively birthed Somatic Experiencing and other body-focused trauma therapies. This is readable on a client level, but still has a good science background. May change the way you see the whole mind-body connection, not just with trauma.
  • Flow (Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi)
    • Really useful for those clients who needs more of a coaching or consultation style, or who have any kind of performance concern (professional, athletic, even relational). Very clear concept, well elaborated, easy to incorporate into your own life and into therapy
  • Gifts Differing (Isabel Briggs-Myers)
    • Great secondary text on Jung’s personality theory and great primary text on MBTI. So much more depth than what you learned in your assessment class, and it’ll give you useful constructs to work with, even if you don’t care for the actual instrument.
  • The Schopenhauer Cure (Irvin Yalom)
    • Existential classic in a very readable narrative form. Also, lots of good stuff about group therapy, all demonstrated rather than explained.
  • On Encounter Groups (Carl Rogers)
    • THE book on process groups. It’s brief and, if you’re a highlighter, prepare for more yellow than white – it’s so rich!

 

I really don’t mean to fill your bookshelves and/or drain your wallet. It’s just that they’re all SO GOOD. Comment below if you’ve read one of these and you want to recommend it for people to begin first!