Category: OfficeSupplies

Trees and Taproots

EllisLeave a comment

Trees & Taproots

You know how I like to have metaphor-ready stuff in my office. (See the other Office Supplies posts here, here, here, and here.) This is a drawing of a real tree that exists and even thrives, despite a meager attachment to its later (non-primary) supports. 

And this is a remarkable tree. And I think that’s honestly more the purview of motivational speakers – “You too can be THIS tree!!” I don’t think most clients resonate with that kind of thing, because it’s to o easy to say, “But I’m not that strong, special, etc…”

I often talk about plants, trees, nature, etc. in therapy with clients (and, myself having a black thumb in real life, I do sense the irony.) I have a few current clients who are pretty established gardeners and out interactions have led me to at least a lot more successful reading about plants! 

And something I learned recently is that most trees and plants start out life with a “taproot” – a long, primary source of nutrients that tends to head straight down wherever the seeding begins to grow. Some plants keep their taproot forever. Some vegetables, like carrots, ARE taproots! Some plants never establish a taproot. But most trees and plants start out with a taproot and, once they are established in their environment, stop using the taproot for nutrition in favor of their lateral roots. Like this extraordinary tree. 

Certainly, a healthy taproot in a young plant is a great thing. (I am talking about the early childhood environment here, in case that isn’t yet clear!) But a strong taproot isn’t always a great thing – it makes transplanting more difficult and overreliance on it can make plants vulnerable in ways that a strong lateral root system can compensate for. And I think that can sometimes be a really important thing for clients to learn – because most clients didn’t have or don’t have a perfect “taproot” family-of-origin experience. And that’s not the end of their thriving. 

Comment below: How (and how often! ha!!) have you used gardening/planting/growing things/plants as a metaphor in therapy? And as always, share your own metaphors!

Photo Source: This gem was drawn for me by my best friend! Thanks, Lisa!!

 

 

 

 

 

Office Supplies Volume 3

EllisLeave a comment

More Useful Office Stuff (Vol 3)

I don’t have infinite space in my office, so I like to make everything count. I’ve written about some of my office treasures before here and here, if you haven’t seen those.

Here are a few things I keep in my office that are especially good when it comes to client homework (and we know how important homework is, right?!) 

 

  • Homework “Rx Pad” – One of the things that clients get from therapy is permission. Permission to act differently, have a tough conversation, give themselves a nap, go someplace strange for social anxiety work, etc. Sometimes, that’s implicit, and the client just needed that permission for themselves. But sometimes, it really helps them enact their homework if they’re able to tell members of their system that “my therapist told me to!” To facilitate that, I made up a little prescription-size notepad that says “Therapy Homework” and has my name on it. I don’t use it all the time, and honestly sometimes it just gets used because clients forget homework if we don’t write it down, but when it works, it works! 
  • Brown envelopes – Somewhere along the way, I realized that I often assign homework that involves communicating in a written way with someone else, or with the future self. Because part of what helps therapy work is how special/sacred/novel it is, I like to have some plain (but special!) envelopes to give clients when I assign a homework like that. Kind of a way to take the sacredness home with them, but also nothing obtrusive that’s going to alert family members.  
    • And Red envelopes! I keep a separate set of red envelopes that I use sometimes when I give couples sexy homework. I have no research-based reason to do this, I just like to and feels extra fun! Sometimes, I’m giving them “secret” instructions and sometimes I just give them the envelope(s) to use to communicate with each other.
  • Cheap journals – I assign tons of different kinds of journaling homework. The classic Expressive Writing homework, worry-time journaling, dream journaling, ego state journaling, etc. And I have found that clients really enjoy receiving a little journal from me to start their work in. Not that they necessarily have to do it there! I just find it helps with investment, and frankly, clients like receiving gifts the way we all do! I use these – they’re lined and they have a nice, clean look. I think they’re 50 or 60 pages (which is usually plenty), and because I have a bunch of colors, clients can choose one they like. And they’re under $1 a piece! 

Comment below: What’s the most useful stuff in your office? 

 

 

 

 

Not Just For Decoration

EllisLeave a comment

Not Just For Decoration

I keep lots of things in my office that are not just for decoration. You might have read the post on the “useful treasures” box. This is sort of an extension of that idea, but things that I keep out in the office, either because they’re pretty, or because it’s useful for clients to see them, or because they don’t fit in the box.

 

  • Singing bowl
    • I keep a Tibetan singing bowl in the office partly because it’s just simply gorgeous. I also like to have it available to use with clients when they are learning meditation (of course), but also sometime as an “arriving” or “departure” moment, especially for client who are doing tough work, like trauma work. It can help them to have a minute to get settled in, check homework, do updates and then something to mark the transition clearly. Doing so at the end of their “deep work” also helps them to wrap up and transition back into the “real world.” I also use it sometimes when I need a super fast grounding moment between sessions.
  • Long feather for balancing
    • I have two ostrich-style feathers that sit in a cup on my desk. They’re pretty but not ostentatious and they have long, un-feathered stems. I typically have clients try to balance the feather by the stem on one fingertip. This is great for younger clients with ADHD to practice active mindfulness, it’s nice for couples as a way to not get too worked up during conflict discussions, and it’s good for many clients who need a “distractor” while they access and speak about difficult material. I’ve also let clients use the feather-end to create a sensation that they can focus on, in a DBT distress-tolerance kind of way.
  • Highlighters in many colors
    • Highlighters can do all the work of markers, don’t dry out as quickly, and obviously can be used over text as well. I use highlighters in a million ways – I’ve even printed out a list of erotic-story-words during session for a very shy client to read with her husband so she could highlight the words she feels most comfortable with him using without having to say them out loud! Also, along with the bubbles and blank paper (in my useful treasures box), highlighters are a great distraction for kids who randomly show up.
  • Phrenology bust
    • Actually Charlton (pictured above) doesn’t technically live in my office anymore, now that I share an office. But when he did, I liked to use him as an example of how we can hypothesize, gather data, and update our theories – in psychology, in therapy, and individually.
  • Jar of rocks
    • I like to keep a little clear glass jar in my office, filled with random rocks. It’s unobtrusive, and clients rarely mention it. But I like to have the rocks in case I need something to give a client as a transition object (e.g., a client with strong BPD who will be worried about abandonment) but I don’t want to give them something I actually need, use, or care about. I also occasionally give them to client who are working on habit control, as a “holder” for their motivations – so that when they are in a tempting situation, they can hold the rock. And, it’s fun to just always be on the lookout for pretty or interesting rocks!

 

Comment: What other useful things do you have in your office? Have you “pulled a MacGyver” and used something in your office for an unintended but epically useful purpose?

 

 

 

 

Connect These Dots

EllisLeave a comment

Connect These Dots

Connect these dots. Go ahead. Geez, at least imagine doing it!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Chances are one of these pictures is something like what you imagined as “the way” (or “your way”) to connect the dots, and some of them aren’t. Some might have surprised you, in a delightful way. Some of them might even feel…. wrong to you. ::Gasp!:: This isn’t a mind blowing concept – people connect dots in different ways. They perceive the same situation differently. This is just another way to demonstrate this for clients. I like it because it’s experiential and also relatively non-threatening (and super easy – you don’t need anything but what you normally have in your office to do this) The Horse & Frog pictures exercise is another way I like to do this.

I’ve recently taken this exercise to the next level in a fun way…

I made this picture (it was much harder than I expected to find the right “star level” for this activity, especially royalty free) and I printed it as a photo multiple times. I keep them in my office along with 3-4 of the metallic sharpies. I hand one photo and one sharpie to each client and tell them, “Imagine you are priest-king of an ancient civilization and create a constellation.” They do, and they obviously create different constellations. One of the bonus-features to this activity is that they typically use most of the same larger stars, but they also use different medium/background stars to complete their constellations. That gives us a way to talk about connecting the dots differently, but also things like cultural background, personal history, and perceptual differences in how they construct a narrative.

 

Comment below – I’d love to see the other ways you connect these dots, or ideas you have about bringing this concept into session! And definitely feel free to steal this!

 

 

 

 

Office Treasures

Ellis1 Comment

Office Treasures

What kinds of useful treasures do you keep in your office?

Aside from the boring box of things-I-might-need-or-have-forgotten-at-home (headphones for ADHD assessment, bandaids for strange emergencies, deodorant because I’m sometimes in a rush, etc.), I have a box in my office of useful treasures that I pull out in therapy sometimes. It has mostly been populated because I really wished I had something in session and didn’t! I thought I’d share a few of those items with you:

 

  • Heart rate monitors
    • I keep two inexpensive heart rate monitors (the kinds that clip gently on clients’ index fingers) in my office, along with extra batteries. I use these in the Gottman way, when couples have a tendency to escalate (to help them see when they need a time out) and I also use them with individuals sometimes when we’re learning relaxation techniques
  • Copies of therapy-pics I’ve made
    • I like to make “take homes” for clients using stock photography, either for use in session exercises or to reinforce special ideas. I try to keep a few copies of my favorites so that I have them available and can send them home with clients
  • Bubbles
    • I use the small tubes of bubbles that are popular as kids party favors. That way it’s easy for them to be single use. The primary way I use these is to teach unpanicked breathing. Attempting to blow one large or many little bubbles is an easy way to get across the basic principle of “exhale longer than you inhale,” and clients seem to like the interactive nature of the activity. I also occasionally have couples use them when they need to discuss conflict calmly. And they’re part of my “emergency protocol” when an adult has brought a kid to session with them who I wasn’t expecting!
  • Small flag
    • I keep small plastic flags (the 10 for a dollar kind) in my office to use mostly when I am doing communication training with couples. After we’ve talked about whichever “rules” we are working on, I literally wave the flag when the rule gets broken. It makes for less of an interruption than actually interrupting, and clients seem to feel less “criticized.” (If I have a really high functioning couple, I may send them home with two flags to use during homework practice!) I will occasionally do the same thing with an individual, if we’re monitoring something together (e.g., yes-buts, self deprecation)
  • 8” inflatable beach balls
    • They take up almost no space, and (along with also being good for visiting kids), I like to use them with couples and individual trauma clients in the Bessel Van Der Kolk kind of way – creating a reciprocal, socially engaged, dynamic-yet-predictable interaction that can help to regulate the nervous system! Also, it can give clients a way to do a semi-dissociation while they talk about difficult things, kind of like how they do their best processing while knitting or petting a therapy dog. They’re the perfect size the be easy to throw and catch, even for not-very-coordinated people, but not so big that they take over the space.
  • Blank paper
    • I know, this sounds so ridiculously simple, but this is hands down the item I use most often. There are many times that I want a client to make a quick sketch, or co-create a visual metaphor with a client, or draw an explanatory diagram. I never know when that urge is going to pop up, and I really like not having to use the back of their progress note or the regular lined paper I keep I around, and not even having to get out of the chair and break the mood.

 

Comment: What do you keep in your office to use during therapy? Tell us how it works!